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Phobia Anak Kecil

6 August 2008
3,464 Comments

Entah kenapa aku nggak terlalu suka sama yang namanya anak kecil *kecuali dulu waktu masih kecil, jamannya cinta donkey*. Sumpah, sampe sekarang aku nggak pernah bisa nangkep citra anak kecil yang lucu, imut, ngegemesin, yang ada malah aku mikirnya mereka tuh setan kecil yang suka tereak2 seenaknya, pipis seenaknya, minta duit seenaknya, lari2an gak jelas sambil nguntilin duit orang *loh.. ini tuyul apa anak kecil..??*

Hmm.. kayaknya sih gara2 emang dari kecil aku ga pernah punya pengalaman mengasuh anak2, secara aku anak satu2nya di dalam rumah tangga bahagia ini :D tapi perasaan aku juga punya beberapa temen yang gag punya sodara di rumahnya, dan nggak gitu2 banget. Maksudnya gak parno2 banget sama anak kecil, gak kayak aku.

Kalo kata ahli kejiwaan sih, phobia tuh bisa disebabkan karena beberapa hal. Diantaranya pengalaman buruk dan keadaan yang teralalu memaksa. Kayaknya aku masuk kategori yang terakhir nih, keadaan emang terlalu memaksa, memaksaku untuk terlihat ganteng hehehe.. ga deng ;)) o iya, ngomong2 masalah pengalaman buruk, ada beberapa yang aku inget nih..

Misalnya kenangan buruk sama anaknya ibu kos gue dulu. Ni anak umurnya berapa ya.. masih es de gitu lah pokoknya. Awal2nya sih gag masalah, anaknya sopan, trus kl maen ke kamar juga suka bawa camilan, pinter nge-game juga (jadinya kalo aku lagi males namatin level tertentu, tinggal suruh dia aja yang mainin hihi..). Walhasil aku juga mulai berpendapat kalo sepertinya gag semua anak2 tuh nyebelin..

Tapi.. ternyata buah kesemek tak seindah kelihatannya *ini peribahasa dari mana..?!?!?!?!* Lama2 ni anak ngelunjak gitu, ngegame nya jadi keterusan. Pernah malem2 ni anak ngetokin kamar gue cuman buat numpang ngegame doang. Udah gitu kalo misalnya gag diturutin maunya, ni anak suka ngambek gitu. Mending ngambeknya cuman nangis aja, ini pake acara ngembat2 properti pribadi segala

si Kecil : Mas, aku ngegame ya..

Gue : duh, jangan sekarang deh.. mas mo kerja niy..

si Kecil : bentar aja mas, yang kemaren nanggung… yah? yah? *deketin kompie*

Gue : *mulai sebel* yah.. jangan dong dek, ntar aja kalo mas udah kelar kerjaannya

si Kecil : *mukanya ditekuk empat belas* pokoknya mo maen masss..!!! *ngeliatin aku seolah2 aku lagi numpang ngetik di kompienya dia*

Gue : kupret ni anak!! (dalam hati, takut diusir ibu kos) *ga peduli, langsung siap2 mo ngetik tugas*

si Kecil : maen gag mas..!?!?! kalo nggak ni walkmannya aku ambil nih..!! *ngancem*

Gue : aduh duh.. jangan dong, duuh… ntar aja kenapa sih..?!?!?! *sewot, tapi takut jangan2 walkmannya disita beneran*

si Kecil : gag bisa, pokoknya sekarang *jalan keluar sambil bawa Walkman Sony-ku satu2nya.. OMG..!!!!*

Gue : aarggh…!!! iya deh, udah sana buruan main *pasrah, mo marah ga berani, takut Walkmannya dibanting*

si Kecil : *senyum kemenangan* itu dong mas..

Gue : *nyari BTS terdekat, loncat dari atas*

See..?? Gag banget kan..? itu masih belum seberapa, masih ada beberapa kejadian menyebalkan lainnya yang sebenernya pengen banget kulupain : anak kucing hutan gue pernah tewas gara2 keinjek ama anak kecil yang keluar dari rahim tamunya ortu, alesannya : gag liyat, coraknya mirip ama karpet (hah..?!!? mata lo ditaro kemana..?!?!?) Trus ada juga beberapa anak tetangga yang kalo lagi main2 di sekitar rumah suka nyolongin tanaman di halaman. Mending kalo metik buat dijual trus keuntungannya buat ngasih upeti ke tuan rumah, yang ada malah dipetik buat digeletakin di deket2 situ juga, bikin berantakan! :( blom lagi yang suka gerayangin kolam ikan di depan kamar, yang suka lari2an di teras rumah padahal kakinya kotor, yang suka beol di tengah jalan, yang suka masuk2 pekarangan orang seenaknya, yang suka manjatin pager.. oke, yang tiga terakhir ini emang bukan kelakuan anak manusia, tapi anak ayam peliharaan tetangga.

Payahnya lagi si Ndut tuh tipe ibu2 banget, penyayang anak2 sangadh..

Ndut : Say.. liyatin deh, lucu banget kan anaknya..?

Aku : Eh? oh iya iya.. lucu banget..

Ndut : Mudah2an ntar kalo punya anak kayak gitu ya, amiin..

Aku : amiin.. *sambil bayangin tu bayi berubah jadi moster yang suka ngapus2 file miyabi di komputerku, huhuhu…*

Ok, enough! Mungkin agak sedikit berlebihan. Aku sih udah pernah curhat sama si Ndut tentang phobiaku ini. Trus dengan tampang bijaksana diya ngomong gini:

Hm.. pasti karena blom pernah gaul ama anak kecil. Nanti kalo udah punya anak juga jiwa bapak2nya bakal muncul ndiri..

Waww.. beneran gitu ya..? ada yang pernah ngalamin phobia anak kecil kayak gini juga gak..?

3,464 Comments »

  • Fortynine said:

    Saya ga sampai segitunya fobia sama anak kecil. Apalagi kalau masih lucu dan imut imut plus badannya putih montok. :D

    Sekarang pemecahan masalah buat anda. Cobalah bergaul dengan anak kecil yang belum bisa jalan mungkin anda tidak akan mengalami gangguan yang seperti diatas. Kecuali dikencingi waktu menggendong…..

  • Teddy (author) said:

    Duh.. sama bayi juga gak berani gendongnya, takut jatoh atau malah salah gendong yang bisa2 bikin bayinya cacat seumur hidup *berlebihan* :P

    kalo kata orang banjar, aku tuh gak bisa “beading” (hv no idea bahasa indonesya nya apha *cincha style* ). Boro2 ada niyat nge-gendong, wong setiap ketemu anak kecil aja gak tau harus ngapain, gak tau cara godain/ngajak ngomongnya gimana. Paling bater cuman “kuchi kuchi kuchi… udah mandi blom..?”, kadang walo ketemunya jam 9 malem pun pertanyaannya tetep gag ganti :))

  • Mohon Maaf Jikalau.. at My Life said:

    [...] About « Phobia Anak Kecil [...]

  • Pakacil said:

    phobi anak kecil? untung tidak.
    Kalau binatang tertentu. iya
    :(
    cuma dari tulisan ini yg agak bikin bingung adalah kalimat “jamannya cinta donkey”.
    Pernah pacaran sama donkey gitu?
    Serius Ted? hihihihi….
    [oon mode: on]

    *kabuuuurrr*

  • Teddy (author) said:

    duh.. donkey tuh gitu ya? ternyata cinta emang bener2 membutakan mata.. :(( :(( :((

    *lempar pakacil pake asbak*

  • nz said:

    parah loe ted…
    segitu parno-nya ?
    ank kecil mah d’kasi permen jg diem koq… ^_^V

  • yee said:

    kalau baby/anak sendiri yang lahir dari wanita yg paling kamu cintai masa sih takut. ah, peandapatmu nanti pasti berubah,,,kayaknya kamu yg masih anakanak nih he..he..piss

  • yee said:

    apalagi nanti kalo dah married pasti pgn bikin anak terus nih si ted..he..he ngelantur

  • Phobia anak kecil, kah? « LooSheSick said:

    [...] dari pertanyaan : *kenapa gue gak suka sama anak kecil?* ke mbah google. Yang gue nemu malah blog-nya orang yang punya nasib sama kaya gue, sebel sama anak kecil. ( tapi blog ini bagus banget loh, [...]

  • Teddy (author) said:

    @nz
    tergantung jenisnya juga kali niez. Payahnya kebanyakan anak kecil yang aku temukan tuh termasuk genre yang bukan pemamah permen.. :(

    @yee
    yah.. kalo itu blom tau, ntar aku bikin anak dulu ya.. *ditabok Ndut*

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